Acceptance

First of all I'd like to say thanks to Katie. I've been pretty upset the past few days, and it's been boiling up, and tonight I literally collapsed into her arms with a flow of endless tears. It's nice to have someone to embrace during sadness, even if there's nothing they can really say to make you feel better, the fact that they are there makes you slightly less weak. It was good to release. It wasn't even someone, or an incident, that specifically set me off this time, I was just reading an old letter and I guess I couldn't handle the overwhelming love that I experienced at the same time as a sense of overwhelming sadness.

This calls for a link to one of my all time favourtie acoustic versions of any pop/mainstream song. Plus it is from my all time favourite series, Scrubs. Scrubs taught me so many things about life, love and relationships, it's scary. But it's nice to just listen to the song for a bit. Plus it kinda makes me happy seeing the way JD is with Elliott. Makes me hopeful.

Romantic gestures are very important. As you can see in the video above. Even if you are in a fully functional and amazing relationship, sometimes it's the small things that bring you closer together and make the relationship completely solid. Also, it's the ability to get through the bad times (which there will inevitably be). If someone has made you happy in the past, and feel incredibly special and loved, it only means that they can do that again, even if you may feel like that love is lost. Have hope guys. Remember the small gestures.

I guess in order to heal you need to accept what has happened and what you've lost. I haven't lost a person, because she's still there, but I've lost a connection. A special connection. And I guess that after talking to a good friend while trying to figure out where I had gone wrong, I realised that it really is just over. Sometimes chasing is good, but I don't think this is one of those times. Although it may take a long time for the love to dissipate and the wounds to fully heal, I think after accepting the fact that I can't have her as mine anymore, it's a lot less pressure in terms of getting through the day. Sure I'm going to be lonely and sure maybe even a bit sad, but after accepting what has been lost, I guess it allows me to move forward and potentially fill the gap with something or someone else. And maybe not even that. Maybe not even replace the feeling that I so desire, but instead simply minimize the "gap" until it's at a reasonable size, so that I can deal with it.

Awesome picture one of my friends linked me to:

It makes me feel a sense of optimism. No matter how many mistakes we make I guess there's always tomorrow. Life goes on. And life is great. I say that in all sincerity.

Moving on to a slightly less depressing topic (because you surely must be getting tired of consistently reading about my woes), I found this awesome youtube channel where the guy (or guys, not sure if he does it solo or with a team) basically take trailer of movies or games and add in "subtitles" for humorous effect. I'm a big Harry Potter fan but even I can appreciate a good sense of humour when I see one.

If you want to see more of his videos go here: http://www.youtube.com/user/Tobuscus/

A day off tomorrow! Great. Not that I'll get up to much, but it's nice to enjoy a Monday off. I think that I'll stick to my solidarity for a few more days/weeks, at least until New York. It's quite cool that one of my closest friends here (Katie - yes, you know I'm talking about you) is going to be so extremely close to me in Westchester, New York. She's agreed to accompany me in my change of perspective on all that is around me, both with my environment and with the people around me. Hopefully I can learn to appreciate life all that much more.

Hmm I have some pictures that I haven't uploaded to facebook yet. Not sure why I haven't uploaded them yet, but I guess you guys don't really know what I look like (if you're anonymously reading this - which apparently (from my stats) - I have a good 10 or so international readers).

My sis and me just before leaving to America. She hated the fact that I forced her to take a picture with me and my goofy glasses, haha.

Yes, I am a duck. Miss you sis xx

Miss my best friend too, lief vir jou (translated:love you).

Jade and Gareth. She was completely fucked out of her bracket for the full flight - like 12 hours - then passed out, haha. Much love Jade.

A random picture I caught of the sun rising. I thought it was pretty cool. Ignore random guy in it (imagine how he felt with some random guy in an aeroplane taking pictures of him, haha)

Biggest pizza I've ever had. 19 inches people (for South Africans that's like almost 50 cm - gigantic)

Day before leaving for the US. This picture is for you Mom, you asked me to upload it ages ago, and I've slacked. From left to right (duh), my mom, sis, gran and me.

Time to go play some video games. Enjoy your Monday working/going to school, while I play games and sleep in, haha. Laterz.

Happiness

I sit here, at 2am on a Sunday, knowing full well I have a full 12 hours of work ahead of me today and that I probably should be lying in my bed behind me. Yet for some reason I'm drawn away. My mind has too much it wants to say. Too much it wants to shout. To be quite honest with you, I've been thinking a lot about life recently. My life, the lives of others, life in general. I've often had the discussion with some of my old friends, well - more like a debate - on what the most powerful emotion is. The emotion that can drive people to do crazy acts, whether they be good or whether they be "bad". I used to think it was anger. Anger is definitely up there. We see things like whole cities being bombed because of anger and an attempt at revenge. Seeking justice for which we supposedly deserve. Do all humans deserve justice? I'd have to say yes. Fairness, equality, all that good stuff. However, I often wonder to myself how many humans actually get what they deserve. Let's call it a happiness ratio. Did you know there are 6.84 billion people in the world? I certainly didn't before writing this entry. So with that many people, how many are happy - and - how many are not? I don't really have an answer for you, I just find it interesting. For those that aren't happy, for those who are angry, or sad, or lonely. What is the quickest and easier route to happiness? Well that's a fairly simple answer, love.

So ultimately, we need love. How does one find love? Well that's just it. I don't think you can go searching for love. It merely finds you. However this could be love for a best friend, love for a younger sibling, love for a passion that drives you so hard that you wake up every single day with driving determination, looking forward to challenging the world at every step. There are many forms of love. At the moment I find myself in a predicament. I'm in love with someone - most likely one of the few who will ever actually read this - who is so far away from me right now it would take over a day to get to her. This girl is a very special, very kind, very loving human being. But at this current moment in time, we are divided. Not only by distance, but also by emotion. In fact I'm actually struggling to write about this topic. Perhaps it's better left unsaid. I guess, I just want her to know that, although I may not be there for her when she needs me, I plan to be in her future. Whether she likes it or not. Preferably though, she'll like it. But yeah technically speaking I'm single again, for the first time in a very long time. It feels weird though. I can't really describe the feeling fully. At work, with people, during the day, I'm the same. I act the same, I have the same inappropriate sexual jokes, I laugh the same, it just feels as if there's this gaping hole in my soul, that twinges with sadness whenever my thoughts decide to wander, specifically about her. When I experience this sadness, it's less about who I am, and where I am, and more about who I'm not with. Sometimes I doubt my own intellect and emotions. I honestly feel that she is the most important thing in my life, even though she disagrees, that I should concentrate on my future and passions, it doesn't seem to matter when she's involved because I know that if I'm with her, whatever I'm doing, I'll be happy. Doesn't matter where I work, what I study, what I'm doing, where I'm living. I think this characteristic is a very blinding characteristic. However, I don't mind being blind when love's concerned. But yeah, I'm struggling to get over our very recent break up. I'm not sure if you could call it that, because I still love her very much, but it's basically what it is. Funnily enough, I actually initiated the discussion about potentially putting the relationship on hold until I see her next, physically, and yet here I am in such a state that I fear I may have sealed my own fate. But what has happened, has happened. No point dwelling on the past, merely need to attempt to dwell on the future, and prospects that await.

I plan to leave Florida soon, to embark on a journey to New York. I'm hoping it'll be another two weeks or so, maybe even less. Visa, etc. I've decided that when I get there, I need to change a bit. Simply to be able to find happiness, with less dependency on others to find it. Sure, experiencing it with a lover, or a friend is great. But becoming so utterly reliant on said person for happiness is in fact a curse. Hopefully I can achieve this goal. But I guess we'll see.

“I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.”  - English poet William Ernest Henley (1849–1903).


If you are reading Rosie, I will wait for you, for us, forever. If you aren't well then - this is awkward for those of you who aren't her, haha!


Moving on, I was going to switch blogs, to either wordpress and tumblr, to potentially - at some stage - become noticed. Gain some insight and experienced from more experienced writers. But for now I guess I'm kinda lazy to look into it. I might still move relatively soon, I'm just comfortable at blogger.com for now.

Here's a song my good friend linked to me, to help me get over my sadness. Such a cliche, I know, but music helps me. I hope it helps you too. Made me smile and made me feel good. Made me feel optimistic in actual fact. One day I hope that I can feel this happy every single day I wake up.

I know you might not understand it, so here's a rough translation. (google ftw)

You know that there is a boat that goes to the land of dreams
Down there where it’s hot, where the sky is marvelous
You know that at in the end this world
Oh yes the people sow
Some millions of seeds of joy where here grows the hatred
I was told it little boy
Down there they remove your chains
They give you a life
Without throwing you in the arena
Like here everything small
You’re plunged into a live where you lose your breath quick
Then without hesitating
I jumped into the sea
To rejoin this vessel
And see at last this world
Down there too many lights
I had to close my eyes
But alone the smells
Were filling all my vows
Refrain
Just wanna be free in my world
Vivere nella liberta
Then a little girl, as beautiful as the nature itself
Took me by the hand and said to me, followed this adventure
They were even saying, oh yes that the sea was envying her
That the mountain bent to let her pass
She took me far away with a gentleness without end
And her browned curls freed that perfume
Who since the years was guiding that way, your way, my way, the way
To arrive finally at those baby dreams
Who don’t have limits like those nowadays
I saw some dolphins swimming in a sky of cotton
Where from the flowers were flying, caressing the horizon
I saw from the trees to grow
I saw trees growing, replacing the skyscrapers

It doesn't actually matter what the words mean. It's the joy I experienced when I listened to the words. I hope all of you who aren't happy and are reading this, may find a path to experience that happiness. And those of you who are - well - I'm jealous, haha.

This might have been quite depressing, sorry about that. Next time I'll try be more uplifting and inspiring :D  

Why do you tease me, you know I can't resist..

I begin this sentence while listening to the softly comical voice of Julian Smith. I've talked a bit about my passion  for film, however Julian is where it all started. He has 90 videos on his channel located here, I'd recommend every single one. He originally started off with stuff that merely involved him and a few close friends, but has since progressed to such overwhelming success that he is probably going to be the next George Lucas or Martin Scorsese. He does his own music, directs, produces, and often stars in his own videos. They are usually hilarious. He releases one every Monday too, some which seem like they would take a lot longer than a week to produce, yet he does it without fail. With his acute sense of humour, a touch of slight irony (nothing is funnier than irony) and such an avid awareness of his audience, he pulls off both entertaining and extremely funny videos on a regular basis. He was my original inspiration - and still is - after being a supporter of his videos for four years now. I stumbled across him when he was only getting a few ten thousand hits on each of his videos, whereas now he gets in the millions. The title of this entry is actually a line in his new music video, Buffering. Yes, you heard me right, he sings too. Truly, a jack of all trades. Even though the video is coming from the perspective of an ironically "punny" choice of words - with his lyrics relating to both videos having to "buffer" (load) as well as relating to a potential love interest - he still has a decent voice, for what it's worth. The directing in this video is superb because it creates a sense of epicness to something that you would usually consider a slightly tedious, monotonous part of our every day lives. Enjoy.

Julian also has an alter ego, a character he created who (in his fictional youtube stories) appears to be Julian's cousin. It really is just him acting like a slower, less subtle version of himself. He names this alter ego Jeffrey Dallas, and also did a really good job with the singing/lyrics (with a rib-tickling performance too). In actual fact, it was an extremely catchy song, and I bought it on itunes, I enjoyed it THAT much. Perhaps you should too. It's almost like an ironic version of a semi mentally-challenged Mumford and Sons (another one of my favourite bands).

Watched a pretty cool movie tonight. I've always been a sci-fi and fantasy fanboy, so it tickled my fancy. Oh yeah, nearly forgot the films name, well here's the trailer too, for Chronicle:

Even just the trailer gives me chills.

On a personal note, got an email back from a college close to where my girlfriend is living, in Ireland. To cut out all the boring shit out, the main problem for any South African - or any non eu student - when trying to find a college or university to study in the UK or EU - is the financial aspect. The prerequisites for many of the colleges aren't too high in terms of marks, so that's not a huge problem for me (even though I could've done way better in high school, lazy!). But the email seemed quite optimistic, at least relatively speaking. A lot of the other colleges/universities I emailed came back with figures like 10 000 -15 000 Pounds, which is like R150 000 + per year, excluding any living expenses, which simply isn't an option for me (as well as many other young middle class South African prospective students). Basically, the gist of the email was that it would cost roughly 5000 euro (+- R50000) which isn't THAT bad compared to South African tertiary education facilities, plus I would be studying something I love (Film, TV, video production) as well as probably working part time too (to support living expenses etc). But the big plus would be that I'm close to the one I love. Assuming everything went to plan, of course.

I find it utterly frightening how difficult it is for a South African to try an attempt any form of studies in the United Kingdom and/or Europe. The prices are so ridiculously high you would either have to be from an amazingly well off family, or receive some kind of grant for your studies (from which government/country I'm not sure).


Hmmm, pretty tired tonight. Probably actually shouldn't have attempted any form of blogging, considering I have work in the morning. I don't like short entries either, so it kinda frustrates me that I'm ending this entry here. Oh well, I'll have another one (hopefully longer) in a day or two. 

"I’ll tell you a riddle. You’re waiting for a train, a train that will take you far away. You know where you hope this train will take you, but you don’t know for sure. But it doesn’t matter. How can it not matter to you where that train will take you?"




For now I'm going to leave you with a song from one of my all time favourite, film composers, Hans Zimmer. Plus it was one of the songs in the Inception  score, one of my top ten movies, ever. You know when you watch a movie with someone, it increases the movie's sentimental value tenfold. Yeah well - this movie is kinda like that. The song is brilliant too. Hans Zimmer - Waiting for a train. 

"You're waiting for a train. A train that will take you far away. You know where you hope this train will take you. But you can't know for sure. But it doesn't matter - because we'll be together."

Some things don't work out

So, most of my previous thoughts have been optimistic and relatively jubilant but today perhaps not as much. You will remember me ranting about love, and all the good things that come with it. And I stand by everything I said. But love also hurts, occasionally. Not so much the lack of love. But having tasted love, like tasting rice krispies for the first time. That wonderful feeling of awe and amazement at the fact that you had gone so long without realizing something like this existed. I still eat rice krispies almost every day ok, I'm a fan, haha.





















This is what love is. Snap, crackle and pop. All the different emotions that can be experienced when softly munching down a bowl of rice krispies can likewise be experienced while being deeply in love. However losing that love is very much like being forced to "forget" about rice krispies. One simply cannot forget. Can you actually imagine a world without such snappling, crackling and popping? I can't. One has tasted the sweet nectar and now is too aware to return to an environment that does not provide said nectar.

What I'm getting at is - there once was a wise poet born in 1809 named Alfred Lord Tennyson. For all his strangeness and irregularities, I think Alfred did get one thing right. He said "tis better to have love and lost than never to have loved at all". This statement makes me think very deeply about the real meaning of our mere existence. They say that it's not reaching happiness - not actually ever achieving it, but merely the pursuit of it that drives us instinctively as human beings. I guess you could relate the same train of thought to that of utter uncomplicated, unrestricted, deeply satisfying love. This is getting depressing isn't it. I guess the whole long distance thing is getting to me. Well, us. But that's slightly too personal for a blog like this.

But on the subject of long distance relationships, I think they can work, if you apply the ol' rice krispies technique. You either have to see each other in regular intervals, or not at all, otherwise that thirst, that desire for affection and physical intimacy will outweigh the love you feel for you partner, thus nullifying it's effect and in turn provoking negative energy within the relationship. So if you do ever plan to start you own adventure in the future (in the form of a long distance relationship) heed my advice and have a structured plan in place prior to the creation of the distance. People need to be with each other to experience love - constant communication can only go so far. No amount of words can every fully emulate the feeling of a warm hug from someone who loves you and whom you love in return. Be wise about the decisions you make folks, they decide your future and with whom you experience said future with.

On that note, I introduce to you another one of my favourite acoustic artists. Ironically relevant in terms of his lyrical presence. Joe Purdy - Some things don't work out :

\

I think the key is to never ever remain bitter. Regardless of what the situation is or was. But simply to appreciate all the love and positive emotion you felt for any of your previous partners. If it ended badly, why not try reconcile with an ex, even if it is just as acquaintances. That person made you who you are today, you should be thankful for that. 

So moving on swiftly - another one of my passions is film making. Writing, of course, is a plus here, because ultimately I do plan to screen write as well as direct. Now I know what you're probably thinking. Most people who wish to do such things are dreamers with their heads in the clouds. It's not exactly the most professional career to pursue, but hey, it's what I love, so it's what I'm going to do. I decided that slightly earlier this year. I've been looking around here and there, both in South Africa and outside, but it seems like realistically speaking (in terms of finances) studying in South Africa is the most appropriate option. Luckily for me, I've been refered to AFDA by many of my close friends, and it seems to suit my preferences quite well. I'm probably going to apply online and then when I get back to South Africa in October (post New York) I'll have a few months till first semester (January or so). I've actually considered going to Israel for a few months, maybe just one or two, to experience life in a kibbutz. 

Basically, there are these small little collective communities which strive for an attempt at a Utopian lifestyle. To very simply explain it, it's an attempt at the perfect, ideal society. Read more here. This highly interests me, no matter how many times people mock me about going to milk cows in Israel, haha. I think - if anything - I will learn a little bit more about myself, and hey, what's wrong with a little bit of maturing and self-awareness right? Plus it'll fit right into my whole "nomadic" lifestyle.  

I watched Sherlock Holmes yesterday! Finally - I know right. I really enjoyed the film, both from a audiences' perspective but also from a technical/analytical perspective. It was both pleasing to watch, but also very well shot, with a great score, and an even better art direction. Plus, everyone loves Rob Downey Jr. (what a ridiculous surname now that I think about it, haha shame poor guy). If you haven't seen it yet, I'd highly recommend it. I'll probably watch the second one sometime in the next few days.

I know that I mostly jump from subject to subject, but I'm literally writing whatever comes into my mind, and trying to make it sound entertaining and reasonably intellectual.

The other South Africans are already starting to leave Florida. It's weird, you get used to seeing someone every single day when you work with them for six months. You become accustomed to this person, their irritations, their likes and dislikes, their habits and mannerisms. Much like high school I guess. But these people are very much seasonal friends. After our six months, we move on and go our own respective ways. Sure, a few people end up at the same place, but it's a very low percentage. It's kinda sad in a way. At the same time however, such is life. The only constant is change. Still, it's weird not having certain people around, and the fact that it's more than likely that I may never see these people again, unless either of us make a concerted effort once we're both back in SA - which could be awhile - who knows. Makes me think it's all that more important to enjoy the time you have with the people you are enjoy. God, this is sounding as sentimental as my last entry, haha.

I love this video. What I love more than the song itself is that it was filmed in South Africa. Proudly South African!

To end this entry off on a relatively positive note, I'm going to give you a brief snippet of one of the episodes of The Ricky Gervais Show, where Karl Pilkington (from An Idiot Abroad) describes what he thinks would be the ultimate animal, assuming you could simply create and choose what it was made up of.

That's about it for this morning. Hopefully the entry wasn't too stagnated with all the emotional ranting. I've had a difficult day ok, haha, at least that's my excuse. Keep well guys, keep rockin'.

A little more

So - with slight encouragement from an unexpected few, I've decided to rant a little more. Once again, most of what I write here is merely what's on my mind, so don't expect anything really worth reading.

Today the Diablo 3 beta was released to the public. Basically - for all those non-nerdy people out there - a beta is basically the development stage of any video game or software. Blizzard's expected release date is May 15th, which is only a few weeks away, and what they've decided to do is let anyone play the game (albeit only about an hour or two of gameplay) for this weekend. Very interesting marketing strategy, and very effective in my opinion. They are allowing anyone to play the beta, for free, for the next three days, thereafter shutting down the beta right up until the game is officially and commercially released. From a consumer's perspective, quite a sweet deal, because if you were uncertain of whether you wanted to buy or pre-order the game or not - well - here's your chance to decide. Being a general real time strategy fanboy, I obviously welcomed this announcement with open arms, and enjoyed the few hours I did get in last night, playing with my room mate making it even more fun. Even in the beta, they've enabled co-op, so you can play with up to four players in total. Here's a neat cinematic released awhile back which I guess could tantalize those metaphorical tastebuds for any gamers out there:

In other news, the first episode of The Ricky Gervais Show, Season Three started today.

Ah, how I've missed Karl Pilkington's insights. If you're not completely aware of who Ricky is, he's definitely my favourite British comedian, the guy who brought you greats such as The Office and An Idiot Abroad. Before Ricky (and his two best mates, Steve Merchant and Karl Pilkington) were relatively famous, they used to do work as a team on a UK based radio station, which eventually ended up moving to the format of podcasts. Much later, they decided to turn these podcasts into an animated series. This animated series was named The Ricky Gervais Show (humble, isn't he?). It's absolutely brilliant. They all are so hilarious, plus Ricky just have one those amazingly contagious laughs. I would recommend anyone and everyone try get a hold of the first two seasons of the show, if you haven't seen them yet.

Also, on a side not, if you enjoy Ricky Gervais, and appreciate his work in general, he blogs! Yes, can you imagine that, I'm not the only bloke typing his thoughts out into an internet browser. And his blogs are actually informative and interesting, haha. Check it out here : http://www.rickygervais.com/thissideofthetruth.php .

On a slightly more personal note, it seems as if my visa extension is taking longer than originally planned. What a bummer. I mean it will inevitably go through, I'm 99.9% sure about that. But like - American Homeland Security isn't exactly fond of foreigners working in their country, evidently. Especially South Africans. Originally when I arrived in Florida last year November, we were supposed to arrive late September/early October. Homeland security just delayed the petition's approval for ages. The same thing has happened here, so instead of late April in New York, my employers say it'll probably be just after Mother's Day (mid to late May). Which isn't that bad, but not that good either. I'm pretty excited to just go to New York, one of my "must see" places in the world. Just now it's going be a little bit more time till I get there.

So I've spoken a bit about gaming. My other (and very much more important) passion would be in the form of my girlfriend. Now I know what you're thinking. Oh god, he's not going to get all sappy and romantic is he? And no, I won't say thing's like she's the most important thing in my life and that nothing else matters (even though that may be the case if truth be told) but what I will say is that I'd like to talk a bit about love - and relationships in general. 

Yesterday I went over to a friend of mine's apartment because she needed me to fix something with her pc. Yeah, around these parts I have apparently inherited the title of the guy who can fix anything of yours when it breaks - as long as it is in any way technology inclined. More often than not, it seems like I always end up fixing someones laptop. Now anyway, my point is that while I was waiting for an application to install on her computer we got to randomly talking. Talking about guys, girls, sex - the usual, haha. She is a relatively pretty girl, so I asked her (out of mere curiosity) how things with the guys were and if had anyone special. She replied that she didn't and when I queried further, she basically stated that - apart from a few unofficial "things" in high school - she had not really had a proper relationship before. I was so amazed. I asked her why she thought the reason was. She said guy's didnt seem to want to be in one with her. I found this hard to believe, because she really is a nice girl, and it's not as if she's bad looking or anything either. Later it actually made me kinda sad when I thought about it. I mean, she wasn't particularly sad, she's usually a really happy person, but she had never been in love, or been loved. I wish that every good person in the world could experience how I feel every single day of my life. I guess it makes me appreciate what I have that much more. Even though the long distance (temporarily, hopefully) is difficult, the companionship, the love I feel for my girl makes me so overwhelmingly happy and at ease, that I couldn't imagine a life without it. I guess - as they say - "everything is relative". If the girl (the one whos laptop needed fixing) hadn't experienced love, then she didn't actually know what she was missing, and was blissful. Ignorant. But blissful. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. However, I'd like to urge those of you out there (if there is anyone actually reading this, other than the love of my life) that don't know what it's like to love and be loved, just take a leap of faith. Be forward with those who interest you. Be suggestive. Be honest. Make a move. What could it hurt.

My ultimate wish is that everyone out there, in this big, wide world, can - at some point in time - be exposed to happiness. Even just for awhile. And appreciate what they have. We never know when those we love won't be there when we wake up the next morning.

Ah, now I miss my family. I hope you're all safe back home. I've been thinking of you guys a lot recently. Much love from across the sea.

I guess this has turned a bit personal. Well, then again, isn't that what blogging is supposed to be? haha.

I've decided that, at the end of each blog entry, I'm going to post a song and a picture/photo/image that made me think, or affected me in some form or manner. I guess I'll be hoping that they might affect you too. 

This song is relatively well known, however I find it haunting each time I listen to it. Plus it has a hint of epicness too it. Can you imagine it being the soundtrack to your life? I sure can, haha.

I was talking to a friend earlier today about his decision to move up north (coincidentally also New York) and how he was unsure about his decision. I told him that if he hadn't of taken the job he had been offered, he may have regretted it at a later stage in life, and that you cannot live life being afraid of change. Because even though change may take you out of your comfort zone, it may place you in a zone that you may be even MORE comfortable in. How poetic am I right? haha. Basically, I think this photo summarizes what I was trying to get across to him. Don't be afraid to do new thing's because nothing truly lasts forever. The picture however was ironically literal, but I think you get the point.

Have a good weekend folks

An Introductory Rant

I'm sitting here trying to think of an awe-inspiring and awesome title that will attract many readers to this would-be famous blog. One would assume it has to relate to beginnings, as this is the first of [hopefully] many rants that shall yield absolutely no constructive behaviour in the slightest. I sit here reading back that last sentence, laughing at the fact that Google Chrome wants to auto correct behaviour to behavior, because the Spell-Check is American. Fair enough I think to myself. I'll just change it to South African, so that perhaps Google Chrome might relate a bit more to my thought processes. However when I select "English (South African)" it gives me an error saying how Google Chrome cannot be displayed in this language. This makes me laugh out loud in distaste. As if South African English is somehow unfathomable for Google Chrome (when all it really is, is American English with an occasional extra letter).

Wow, I said absolutely fucking nothing with one paragraph of ranting about Spell-Check options (or lack thereof). If you do not enjoy complaining, voicing your opinion, or having debates, then this is not the place for you my friend, because aforementioned activities are among my favourite things to do. In the past I did attempt to blog, I wrote about what I was passionate about. Things like music, gaming, travel, love making - all the usual. However I never seemed to have the inspiration to write because it felt like my words would fall on deaf ears. Because, let's be real, who the fuck really cares about some randoms passions. The general public does not bother with a nobody's favourite game of the month. What the public wants, is someone complaining. Someone making noise, and doing it in the right way. Take this guy, Jason Russel. Now you're sitting there wondering, who the fuck is that? Well I'll tell you who. You've undoubtedly heard about "Kony 2012", the whole anti violence campaign fighting for children in Uganda. Now I'm not going to sit here and debate on whether or not it was a scam, or whether or not the truth was told, or who was right and wrong. That would be a waste of both your and my time, because you have to make these decisions by yourself, once you are informed and have done the research. If you haven't yet seen the video (do you live under a rock?) then you can catch it here:

It is relatively lengthy but it's worth the watch. Not simply to agree with what is said, but merely to be informed, as stated previously. You can make up your own respective minds, however I need to move back to my point [or risk ranting forever]. Jason Russel directed this video, and made his voice heard. He has since received so much attention that I think he even lost his mind at one point and had a "stress related panic attack" which resulted in him screaming naked in a public street, beating his fists into the ground. Ah, the life of a celebrity, bitter sweet.

Oh yeah, so back to the title. I was thinking maybe something like "every beginning has an end" but then all I could think of after that were random scenes from The Matrix. Awesome trilogy by the way, if you haven't seen it (then you're a completely soulless ginger, however more importantly:) I recommend you go buy/rent it [the trilogy] as soon as possible. So I'm probably just going to give it some overly cliched title like my previous blogs, something cheesy that will attract teenage fan girls. Or maybe just "Introductory Rant" considering the blog name is "The rants of a reasonable man". I'll try be reasonable. I like how I bestow the name "man" upon myself when I'm only twenty one. What defines a man? Age? Maturity? Penis size? Who knows. All I know is I get good grades in two out of three of those categories. I really don't even know where I'm going with this, I'm beginning to think maybe I should just delete it all and start again. But then I would've wasted so much time talking about absolute bullshit. Na, I'll just post it and never link it to anyone except my close friends who will purposely lie and tell me how good it is, thus stroking my ego, and allowing everyone to be happy. Sounds like a plan. A bit about myself by the way. I'm kind of a lone shark. I wouldn't say I'm unsociable. In fact most people seem to get along well with me. However I don't seem to enjoy most people. So I create this kind of facade, to go along with socially acceptable norms, not really seeking acceptance but more doing it for the sake of comfort-ability.

So with this "lone shark" characteristic, I decided to do my own thing after high school. I left, worked for a bit in Johannesburg, then traveled to Ireland and began a gap year which would lead to many good, and one or two bad experiences, but mainly a lot of personal growth. I went all over the United Kingdom, meeting some exciting people (some fucking boring ones too), kissing a pretty girl (or two or three - hey, don't judge, I was living the life of a nomad who is also a lone shark, I needed companionship ok!), seeing some beautifukl sunsets (and a few sunrises too) and just generally having a good ol' time. I like the fact that I didn't need to worry about money. Not because I'm rich (I'm far off that), but because a family sponsored my flights and first three months accommodation because I au paired for their children. Not that I'm the most stressed guy now, but I do miss those relatively care free days. Big sigh. Oh well, life goes on. At the moment I have two weeks left on a contract working in Florida, USA. I'm working as a server (waiter) and I can absolutely assure you that the hospitality is by far the least satisfactory industry to work in. Don't get me wrong, that fact that I'm earning dollars (which are worth seven times more than my own currency, Rands) is great. Cash is always welcome in my wallet. However it's just a soul draining, happiness sapping business. The negative energy often resonates on busy nights with constant complaints and basically the blame game that ensues after. Two weeks left, and then I start another 6 month contract. However this will be my last contract, considering my opinion on the industry you might be asking why I signed up for another six months. The easy answer: It's in New York. My dream city. I could go into more depth but I really don't need to. If I said no, I know I would have regretted passing up the opportunity later in life. 

Sitting here wondering whether I should start writing about the love of my life (the most important thing to me) or gaming (the second most important thing to me, believe it or not), however after much deliberation I've decided not to, simply because that would take up a lot of time and effort, so I'll save that for next time. 

Hey, if you live in the US, go check out an awesome yet very simple website, Pandora. It has introduced me to so many amazing artists, I'm going to miss it once I leave the US (for some reason it doesn't allow any users outside the US to use it, ridiculous I know). I discovered this amazing folk rock artist, namely Ray LaMontagne. Every single one of his songs cuts me so deep I feel like someone has violated my soul and mind. 

Here is an example of some of his work (one of my favourites):

Hmmm. 2:07 am. Work in 7 hours. Probably time to stop "blogging" (aka talking bullshit that no one will ever read or care about) and start moving towards bed. I don't feel like I've really said anything of worth, but if you did laugh at all, or perhaps appreciated or could relate to something I've said, let me know. Every word of encouragement is a word that isn't discouragement. Ha. I'm so witty. 

Goodnight.

P.S. I know how much everyone likes random pictures that are fucking cool, so here's mine for the day, you can't tell me this isn't fucking cool: